Seminar, by Theresa Rebeck

HI.

IT’S SHANNON.

So this is one of my favorite plays, by another fabulous lady playwright, Theresa Rebeck. She’s very popular, and very, very good. My other favorite play by her, which has great female parts (and is sadly but expectedly a little overdone by girls looking for monologues) is Spike Heels, which I am certain you will see on this blog at some point (despite its being overdone). This one, however, is even better. It’s about writers, and (at least to me) treads that perfect, delicate line of pretentious, yet human. Its a writer writing about writers writing, and doing so masterfully.

UGH.

I love this play.

So.

My gift to you this week:

SEMINAR

by Theresa Rebeck

(you’re welcome)

Seminar is about four young writers who take a class with a well-renowned writer/editor, Leonard, in hopes of launching their careers. Douglas has a famous uncle, Izzy has a rampant sex drive, Kate has one story she’s been working on for six years, and Martin has… well we don’t know what Martin has because he won’t show it to anyone. Kate and Martin are old friends who clearly have a thing for each other. The play takes place over the course of several scenes, all (except the last) in Kate’s parents’ fabulous-and-rent-stabilized Upper West Side apartment. In the first scene, Douglas is pretentious, Leonard tears apart Kate’s story, and Martin falls for Izzy’s sexuality. In the second, Douglas and Izzy might be sleeping together, but then Leonard reads Izzy’s story, using it as a tool to get in her pants (which pisses Martin off), and despite Kate being quite upset, Martin convinces her to let him live with her in the apartment. The next week, Leonard calls Douglas a whore (for selling out his connections and writing style), Izzy tells Martin she’s not sleeping with Leonard and kisses him, which upsets Kate even more. The next scene, Martin and Izzy are a furously-copulating couple, Kate turns in a story to Leonard (which he likes) that she’s written under someone else’s name, and Douglas tells Martin that Leonard was once condemned as a plagarist. The following week, Leonard reads Martin’s story and (after offhandedly mentioning to Martin that Izzy’s been cheating on him) tells him he’s brilliant and offers him a leg up in the world. Martin rejects him, calls him a bunch of names. Leonard ends the class for good. In the next scene, we’re in Leonard’s apartment: Martin knocks, looking for his money back for the uncompleted sessions. Kate is in the apartment already, now sleeping with Leonard. She and Martin make up (sort of), and she leaves. Martin finds Leonard’s writing on his desk and realizes he actually is kind of a genius. Leonard offers to help Martin again, Martin accepts.

It’s wayyyy better than that I promise. It’s so smart and so quick and so wordy and the characterization is freaking brilliant. I highly recommend both the parts of Kate and Izzy. And Martin. And Leonard. And if you’re a Douglas, I think he’s got a good speech in there too.

That said, I’m definitely a

KATE

so that’s who we’re looking at today.

This monologue comes at the part of the play where Kate has turned in a new piece of writing to Leonard without telling him she wrote it… and he liked it. VICTORY! Her first story, about an over-educated white girl pining on the themes of Jane Austen, didn’t go over well to say the least so she furiously started her first story in years: the memoir of a transvestite Cubano gang member who she “knows from Bennington” (her endlessly-referenced alma mater). It was a hit with Leonard, and Kate is now telling everyone about that fact. At this point in the story her relationship with Martin is very strained because he’s living in her apartment and fucking Izzy’s brains out on a regular basis… in the living room. She’s frustrated, but has been channeling that frustration into writing and the result is a win. It’s a big moment.

KATE: Yes I did and Leonard loved it. Fucker. Stupid fucking mother fucker. A Cubano transvestite gang member. And he loved it! Asshole.

DOUGLAS: You wrote it?

KATE: OF course I wrote it! His biggest objection to me is that I’m a rich white girl. Maybe if I’m not a rich white girl we can find out if I can write.

(... skipping a lot of text, where Martin pipes up, Kate shuts him down, and basically no one gives Kate the reaction she’s looking for, so...)

Well done, Kate! you not only pulled one over on Leonard who everyone in the room thinks is a flaming abusive BUTTHOLE, you came up with a terrific piece of writing! We know you’ve been feeling shitty about yourself because of the way Leonard treated you and you’ve been really nice to let MARTIN and IZZY use your apartment as a FUCKING LOVE NEST and well done, well done you must feel a lot better: that piece you wrote about the Cubano transvestite gang member is really smart and edgy and funny, you’re a writer after all. Well done.

(then, playing her part)

Thanks, thanks you guys. Thanks!

This whole play is genius and hilarous and smart. I actually can’t say enough good things about it (clearly), so go check it out. Also, as if the text itself weren’t enough, Alan Rickman (RIP) played Leonard when it appeared on Broadway in 2011 (legend has it that Rebeck wrote it for him, which I can totally buy.) I saw Jeff Goldblum play the part, personally, and it was fantastic. So imagine Rickman’s gorgeous voice when reading the text and it only gets better. Izzy’s got a good monologue to Martin later in the play, as well, when she tells him of course she was sleeping with Leonard the whole time. Check it out!

And as always,

if you choose this monologue

buy/read the whole play

and post a video of it here!

Thanks guys!

Once again, this has been

SOMEONE MONO-BLOGGING

and

I’M SHANNON.

ENJOY!