Shakespeare's "All's Well That Ends Well"

HI.

IT’S SHANNON.

Back to Shakespeare! Such a feminist -- at a time where most people couldn’t even read or write, Shakespeare honored his Queen by parading some of the greatest female roles in theatre across his stage. Juliet, Viola, Portia… amazing. This is one of the lesser-known plays with a female lead -- in fact, it’s called one of the “Problem Plays” because it’s hard to figure out if it’s a comedy or not. Definitely a good place to mine if you’re hunting for a solid piece -- there are a couple in this one that are well worth looking at that not many people do. Whenever I do this piece in auditions I get a “Ahhhhh! Nice!” from casting directors who are excited to not see another Lady Anne (we’ll do her later don’t worry).

ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL

by Willy Shakespeare

Helena, a commoner under the protective, motherly wing of the Countess Rousillion after her father’s death, is in love with the Countess’s son, Bertram. Bertram is kind of a douchebag and isn’t the least bit interested in her because of her low birth. When Bertram goes to Paris to attend the dying King (as is his family duty), Helena follows him, allegedly to cure the King. When she presents herself to the skeptical King as a healer, she sets herself a challenge: if she fails to cure him, he can have her killed, but if she succeeds, she gets to pick a husband from anyone in the court. The King accepts, and when he is cured, Helena chooses Bertram as her husband. Bertram pettily refuses, and the King forces him to marry her, announces that he will not consider her for his wife until she bears his child and his family ring. To escape this happening, he leaves France for war front. Helena, distraught, follows him in disguise. On the warfront she discovers him attempting to seduce the virgin Diana (who will have nothing to do with him). She teams up with Diana to fool Bertram into sleeping with her: Diana agrees to do so, but only in complete darkness and only in exchange for his ring, and Helena takes Diana’s place for the actual deed. The deed being done, Helena becomes pregnant. She then returns to the Countess, who is horrified at what Bertram has done and disowns him in favor of Helena. Helena then fakes her death and Bertram, thinking he is free, returns to his hometown. Finding himself disowned, he attempts to marry another lord’s daughter but Diana exposes him for a fraud and Helena emerges, the bearer of both his ring and his child, as his challenge had stated. Bertram is duly impressed and swears his love to her. And they all live happily ever after. Or something. Bertram’s kind of a dick, Helena’s way too good for him, and they wind up married because Helena’s in love. Ugh.

Moral of the story: You can have anything you want

But please god want the right thing

(or something)

Anyway!

Today we’ll be peering into the psyche of

HELENA

Helena is desperate. Her dad has just died, she’s an orphan with a crazy amount of skill as a healer, fixated on this guy, Bertram. She’s risked life and limb to marry him and come out on top. She’s won. And then, he flees the country and says he’ll never be back until she isn’t there anymore. AND won’t marry her until she does things she can’t possibly do without already being his wife. Because he hates her that much. Ouch, right? But she’s known this -- she knows he doesn’t love her, but that doesn’t change how she feels about him, or how determined she is to make him hers. In this monologue, she’s just gotten the letter from him saying that he won’t consider her his wife unless she has his child and bears his ring -- neither of which he’ll do. His letter ends “till I have no wife, I have nothing in France”

HELENA:

Nothing in France until he has no wife.

Thou shalt have none, Rousillion, none in France

Then hast thou all again. Poor lord! is't I

That chase thee from thy country and expose

Those tender limbs of thine to the event

Of the none-sparing war? and is it I

That drive thee from the sportive court, where thou

Wast shot at with fair eyes, to be the mark

Of smoky muskets? O you leaden messengers,

That ride upon the violent speed of fire,

Fly with false aim; move the still-peering air,

That sings with piercing; do not touch my lord.

Whoever shoots at him, I set him there;

Whoever charges on his forward breast,

I am the caitiff that do hold him to't;

And, though I kill him not, I am the cause

His death was so effected: better 'twere

I met the ravin lion when he roar'd

With sharp constraint of hunger; better 'twere

That all the miseries which nature owes

Were mine at once. No, come thou home, Rousillon,

Whence honour but of danger wins a scar,

As oft it loses all: I will be gone;

My being here it is that holds thee hence:

Shall I stay here to do't? no, no, although

The air of paradise did fan the house

And angels officed all: I will be gone,

That pitiful rumour may report my flight,

To consolate thine ear. Come, night; end, day!

For with the dark, poor thief, I'll steal away.

Poor Helena

:(

This is my go-to Shakespeare piece -- it has all kinds of layers to it: softness and desperation and determination and betrayal and longing… Ugh so good. As much as Helena kind of makes you want to punch her in the face and make her pick literally any other person in the play other than Bertram, the way she loves him is pretty pure and beautiful and full… so I guess that’s cool. Anyway, have fun! And as always, if you choose to use this, read the play and record your piece!

Thanks guys!

Once again, this has been
SOMEONE MONO-BLOGGING

and

I’M SHANNON.

ENJOY!