The Cripple of Inishmaan- Martin McDonagh

THE CRIPPLE OF INISHMAAN by Martin McDonagh

Hi, it’s Eileen again!  Here’s a quick summary and  a short monologue from the extremely dark and incredibly fun play The Cripple of Inishmaan!

It was on Broadway in 2014 with an all Irish cast (aside from Daniel Radcliffe as Cripple Billy.)  It’s a fairly popular play, and I think the main reason to use this monologue in an audition is to show that you can do an Irish accent and that you can perform bleak Irish humor.  It’s also really fun.

Set on the dull island of Inishmann, the play examines the lives of the people who are trapped there.  Without knowing much about the world outside, the characters obsess over gossip.  Usually, Cripple Billy is at the center of the conversation.  He is a seventeen year old boy, trapped on the island like everyone else, with a bleak future ahead of him.  To top it all off, the only girl in his life is Helen McCormick.  The nice way to describe Helen is ‘spirited.’  The not-so-nice way to describe her is rude, mean, and flat-out vicious.  But, somehow, she's loveable.  Maybe it has something to do with the number of eggs she cracks over people's heads.  Or maybe it’s just that Billy cares for her so much, that we sort of have to as well.

Here’s a few very telling lines from the gossiping aunts (Eileen and Kate)-

EILEEN: ...Jim Finnegan's daughter.

KATE: She'd kiss anything.

EILEEN: She'd kiss a bald donkey.

KATE: She'd kiss a bald donkey. And she'd still probably draw the line

at Billy. Poor Billy.

EILEEN: A shame too.

KATE: A shame too, because Billy does have a sweet face if you ignore

the rest of him.

EILEEN: Well he doesn't really.

KATE: He has a bit of a sweet face.

EILEEN: Well he doesn't really, Kate.

KATE: Or his eyes, I'm saying. They're nice enough.

EILEEN: Not being cruel to Billy but you'd see nicer eyes on a goat. If

he had a nice personality you'd say all well and good, but all Billy

has is he goes around staring at cows.

A spark of hope arrives when the town hears that Hollywood director Robert Flaherty will be filming on a nearby island.  Billy and Helen both hope that the film can be their escape from the monotony of daily life.  Billy wins the role, leaving Helen in even worse spirits than usual.  Throughout their conversation (in the middle of which this monologue takes place,) Helen pokes and prods at Billy both verbally and physically.  But, by the end of the conversation (which is also the end of the show), Helen agrees to go walkin’ with him.  Then, she gives him a kiss and a wink.  The reason for these out of character actions is ambiguous.  Has she (as she jokes earlier) “softened in her old age”?  Did something in their conversation spark her sympathy for Billy?  The dialogue and action of the final seconds of the play can be performed and directed in so many different ways- it could become clear that despite Billy’s cinematic success, he returned to Inishmaan the same as he left- the outcast and the one that at best, everyone will feel sorry for.  It could be that Helen has softened a bit, and that in Billy’s absence she has come to respect him and maybe she even missed him a little bit.  Maybe she realizes that he had the only taste Maybe they’re in love or maybe she’s just feeling a little frisky.

Here’s my take on a monologue in the middle of the final scene-

I've just lost me job with the egg-man.  I can't for the life of me figure out why. Maybe it was me lack

of punctuality. Or me breaking all the egg-man's eggs. Or me giving him a good kick whenever I felt like it. But you couldn't call them decent reasons.  Or me spitting on the egg-man's wife, but you couldn't call that a decent reason.  The egg-man's wife just deserves spitting on.  I still haven't
given you a good kick for your taking your place in Hollywood that was rightfully mine. Didn't I have to kiss four of the film directors on Inishmore to secure me place you took without a single kiss?

Alright so I'll go out walking with ya, but only somewheres no fecker would see us and when it's dark and no kissing or groping, cos I don't want you ruining me fecking reputation.

Or anyways not much kissing or groping.